Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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