You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
It's rum buckets o'clock
They are going to name an STD after you.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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