if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
handjob tips. give me some.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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