think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
