but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
