im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
