I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
