yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize