I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
