If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
