No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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