This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
