he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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