Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize