I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
