I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
