Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
