she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
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