just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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