This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
