U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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