i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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