I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Damn victory sex feels great
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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