He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
