You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize