It's Friday. Sex?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
