Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
