She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
