i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
