he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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