Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
