My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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