The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
