He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
