I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
