Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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