Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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