If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
