How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
