Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
