I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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