One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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