i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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