Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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