THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize