I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize