I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
These tits shall not be calmed
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
