Nicole vs. Life
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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