You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
