Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize