So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
