You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
