you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
