then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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