I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
