Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
