the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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