I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
