He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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