I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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