she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
