He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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