Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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