addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
