i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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