I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
