We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
