I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
