and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
