fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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