Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
