the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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