Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
