Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
