There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
