so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
