I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
