He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Four minutes until I can fart!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize