my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
