sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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