so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I AM VODKA MAN
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
